wow.. i never thought that a 19 year old could act like they were in 5th grade again.. i mean seriously are we back in middle school.. with the drama, the bullshit head games, the backstabbing friends..

you told me i was a lier, a fake person, and a bitch.. when the truth is you said those things because you can't admit to yourself that thats exactly what you are.. i honestly think it makes you feel better to put other people down.. like you get pleasure out of it or something..

its no wonder that no one wants your ugly ass.. i mean honestly you and your pretend friends.. you try to act hard.. when deep down your all just scared to show who you really are..

you said how i was your best friend well obviously that isn't true.. i mean your real quick to talk shit behind one's back.. and after all the shit you talk about how if your goona say something bout someone you should say it to their face.. but you don't do that.. do you? you're just as scared as the rest of them..

i just don't get people.. who needs that much drama in their lives.. who strives for that much attention that they have to cause a scene to get it.. who knows.. mayeb they'll all grow up someday..

...i would do anything just to be his everything...

he wonders why i don't talk to him anymore.. and please believe me when i say its not that i don't want to.. its just that everything i'd love to say i can't tell him anymore..

i'd like to tell him that i LOVE him and he'll alwys be in my heart.. that even thought there's someone new in his life, i will always be here if he needs me.. that i care for him now just as much as i did then, and nothin will ever change that.. that he'll always mean the world to me, and he has impacted my lfe forever..

and most of all.. that it hurts to love him the way i do, and know that he doesn't care for me like that at all...

there are so many things no one will ever understand..

so many things i wish they knew, cuz if they knew maybe they'd begin to understand me..

they don't care enough to even begin to get it..

how i feel..

who knows i think if i'd let them in they'd just judge me..

who needs that..

they'd judge me and not even understand even a little bit..

why do i ramble on..

no one cares..

they say they do..

but deep down, it's not true..

they put on an act.. a front

somethin that means nothin to them and only hurts me worse..

why does everything have to be so complicated?

think what you want to think, i know who i am...

        say what you want to say, the words will not hurt my feelings.....

be yourself, and do not have expectations of me....

                         i have enough expectations of myself.....

you are a dear friend so please know this...

        you can not subject me to your standards....

                         for i do not subject you to mine....

         i do not judge you...

         so please do not judge me...

i know my morals...

        and although our morals may not be the exact same...

                          does not mean we can not be friends....

i think of you as a friend, so for you to say i have problems....

         i will tell you this...

                          i think you are the one with the problems and just 

There are so many things in life well worth it; family, friends, and lovers.  All of these are people placed in your life for a specific reason.  Whether to teach you, be a student of yours, or to lend a helping hand when you never think you'll get back up.